Attention loyal readers:

If you’re looking for new posts, you won’t find them here.  We’ve decided to relocate our blog to a platform that’s snazzy and that we like a lot better.  To keep up with our latest posts, make sure you bookmark the new address.  As always, we’ll be updating twice a day from Monday to Friday with fun and interesting stories for your reading pleasure.

Thanks for being awesome, and we look forward to seeing your comments on the new site!

Warm regards,

Rachel and the Spotery family

Unless you’re completely cut off from the world of pop culture, you’ve heard by now that Prince William and his longtime girlfriend, Kate Middleton, have finally announced their engagement.  What’s better than a royal wedding to cheer up a nation in the depths of a financial crisis, amiright?  Uh, sort of.  Because the Brits are all dealing with their own recession issues, it would be in pretty poor taste for the royal family to throw an over-the-top wedding bash for Prince Willy and his blushing bride.  At the same time, the idea of a modest royal wedding is pretty much impossible.  Quite the conundrum, isn’t it?  Gosh, it must be so hard to be royalty.

The biggest story on the college scene this week (and pretty much every week since the beginning of the fall 2010 semester), has definitely been Four Loko.  At first, it was just this thing that you drank that got you really drunk and hyper at the same time.  Then, it was this thing that got you drunk and hyper and also could lead to your untimely death.  Now, it’s this thing that’s guaranteed to make you blackout if you can still find it in stores – which has become harder since states have begun banning it and the FDA is considering taking serious action on a national level.  This week, Four Loko manufacturers announced they’d be taking the caffeine out of their products in an attempt to alleviate bad press and the FDA’s wrath.  But I’m not sure the collegiate crowd will give a damn about Four Loko if it’s not pumped full of stimulants.  So, what can you do if you want to relive the glory of the drink before it became totally lame?  Other than rushing every bodega in your neighborhood before they sell out, you could always try to make your own.  (Warning: homemade Four Loko is probably really, really bad for you.  Then again, real life Four Loko is, too.  The key word is discretion, people.  Discretion.)

So, you know how Tina Fey won that Mark Twain award for being hilarious?  And she gave this great speech where she thanked just about everyone, and then made some really funny and sardonic statements about Sarah Palin?  Well it turns out that PBS cut that last part out.  Why?  Because the speech ran just a little too long for broadcast.  A PBS spokesperson claimed that the cut had nothing to do with politics – it was just a timing issue.  But (big surprise!) the internet just doesn’t believe them.  You can watch Tina Fey’s original speech right here.  Go ahead, bask in the glory of her comic feminism!

Okay, so I might have been a little harsh in my last review of Conan’s new show.  The truth is, his interviews this week have been lava (meaning they’ve basically burned a molten path through Conan’s competitors before hardening into legend in the sea of comedy).  Last night, Conan welcomed Jesse Eisenberg, the star of this year’s biggest film, “The Social Network”.  Eisenberg exploded his awkwardly endearing neuroses all over the audience, talking about topics ranging from being a geek, being afraid, and having way too many cats.  The day before that, Russell Brand admitted being sexually attracted to both the Queen and to Helen Mirren (who, you might be surprised to know, actually bathed Brand in a film that will be released next year).  But the cream of the interview crop was without a doubt Harrison Ford, who confused Conan and the audience by being either the awkwardest person on earth, or incredibly intoxicated during his appearance.  Every single one of these interviews it worth watching.  Enjoy yourself!

Over the weekend, SNL produced a parody of the latest Denzel Washington film, “Unstoppable”.  The video is hilarious, not only because it features Scarlett Johansson with a New York accent, but because it makes fun of just about every odd-couple action movie ever produced.  Watch the video here, and be ready to chuckle appreciatively.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 is totally out!  And people are talking about it!  Read the reviews here, watch the trailer here, and watch Harry Potter-themed videos here and here!  This is a time to celebrate!  Have you seen it yet?

You can follow Rachel’s spotted stories at Spotery.com/Rachel or on Twitter @RachelSpots.

Wanna know what happens in countries that criminalize abortions?  Just take a look at Thailand!  This week, thousands of fetuses were discovered hidden at a Buddhist temple in Bangkok, having been delivered there from clinics that perform abortions illegally.  Normally, these delivered fetuses are cremated in the temple’s furnace – but when that furnace broke down, police officers had only to follow their noses to discover the cache.  The thing is, women are going to have abortions whether or not it’s legal to do so.  Do we really want to condemn these women to sketchy medical treatment and the fetuses to furnace incineration?  I think not.

If you’re a lesbian desperate for some action, there are multiple options for you to explore.  Joining a dating website, for example.  Or signing up for a fun charitable activity, like Habitat for Humanity.  But one thing that you probably shouldn’t do is tell hot chicks at a bar that you’re a plastic surgeon so they’ll let you grope them.  I’m not saying this plan won’t work, because it totally did for Idaho native Kristina Ross.  What I’m saying is that doing something like that is so beyond reprehensible that I’m not sure exactly how to classify it.  Aren’t women everywhere supposed to be part of a silent sisterhood that stands firm against creepy molesters?  I guess Ross didn’t get the memo.

In this day and age, it’s surprising to meet someone whose parents are still together, and not surprising at all when your pregnant best friend tells you she’s leaving her husband just shy of their 5^th year anniversary.  In light of this modern-day (read: disturbingly flippant) approach to wedlock, it seems the question must be asked: is marriage becoming obsolete?  According to a recent poll administered by the Pew Research Center, 1 out of 4 Americans think that marriage has, in fact, become unnecessary to the process of raising a family.  Because of the pervasiveness of divorce, separation, and out-of-wedlock pregnancy, the stigma that was once attached to these nontraditional family models is all but extinct.  Hold on a sec – isn’t marriage supposed to be about wanting to spend your life with someone?  Isn’t it supposed to be more about love and less about family values?  Maybe if “getting married” wasn’t the new “moving in together”, this wouldn’t be such an issue.  (And don’t even get me started on the whole “marriage is obsolete, but it’s still totally off limits for the gays” thing….)

Lots of lecturing this morning, I know, but I’ve got just the thing to lighten the mood.  After all, there’s not a person on earth who can look at a pile of kittens and not get a warm, fuzzy feeling in their gut.  And this video is especially coo-worthy, thanks to a hidden surprise.

Happy Friday, people!

You can follow Rachel’s spotted stories at Spotery.com/Rachel or on Twitter @RachelSpots.

There are so many brilliant videos floating around the net today, I’m devoting this post entirely to them.

So, Conan has really hit gold with his interviews this week.  First it was drugged-up Harrison Ford, and then last night he was faced with the obscenely funny Russell Brand.  And the two comedians hit a wide range of topics, too – including the positive aspects of monarchy, Helen Mirren’s sexiness, and whether or not Conan should wear a hat.  Oh, Russell Brand.  How are you so hilarious (and 100% insane)?

ZOMG!  The newest Harry Potter flick totally comes out at midnight tonight.  While I won’t be going to a midnight showing (I’d rather not have to fight strangers for control of the armrests, thanks!), that doesn’t mean I can’t binge on Potter-themed videos until the day of viewing comes.  And besides, what’s funnier than Harry, Ron, and Hermione trying to speak with American accents?  Nothing, that’s what.

Are you a good speller?  If not, then you’re very unsexy.  At least, that’s what this CollegeHumor video says.  And you know, I kind of agree.  If a decently attractive guy came up and handed me a note that read “Your hot, let’s sex!” I’d probably roll my eyes and point him to the nearest grammar school.  The moral of this story?  Learn to spell.  You don’t want to get cockblocked by a misplaced apostrophe, do you?

One of my very favorite things is when people make science funny.  A great example of this?  The new video released by the Marie Curie Fellowship.  The video depicts periodic elements and chemicals interacting with each other at a party while terrible house music plays in the background.  And did I mention that it’s genius?  Check it out if you don’t believe me.  You won’t be disappointed.

Finally, South Park took on the Shake Weight in last night’s episode.  I really don’t have to say anything more than that.

You can follow Rachel’s spotted stories at Spotery.com/Rachel or on Twitter @RachelSpots.

Yesterday was the first annual National Unfriend Day!  Did you participate?  If so, congratulations – never again will you be forced to sift through stupid updates from that kid from your geometry class or that chick you worked with at Starbucks three years ago.  If not, what are you waiting for?  I promise, once you cut the fat, you’ll feel a whole lot better.  If you’re having trouble deciding where to start, why don’t you use this guide to help?  Now go!  Unfriend!  Do your part in keeping friendship sacred.

You know, sometimes making decisions can be hard – especially when choice you make has the power to change your entire life.  Some people are good at that stuff, and some are unequivocally not.  Take Pete and Alisha Arnold, for example.  Alisha found out she was pregnant a few weeks ago, and since then, she and Pete have been trying to decide whether or not they should have the baby.  But choosing between parenthood and abortion was just too hard!  So instead of doing the grunt work themselves, Pete and Alisha launched a website, BirthOrNot.com, and are polling the internet to decide if they should have a baby or an abortion.  Wow.  I’ve got to say – I’m not convinced that people like this should be allowed to have children.  This has got to be a prank, right?

Last night, Jon Stewart slammed the media for picking on Sarah Palin’s kids.  If you haven’t heard, Willow Palin was the center of a controversy this week after she called people on Facebook “f*ggots” for picking on her family.  Meanwhile, Bristol’s pissing everyone off by not having been kicked off DWTS yet.  Stewart said that unless a story would make national news without a famous mother as a tagline, it shouldn’t be reported at all.  Good point, Jon!  Unfortunately, Stewart’s segment didn’t stop there.  He went on to show a video clip of a new PSA for abstinence and safe sex featuring Bristol and…The Situation.  Wait – let that wash over you for a sec.  Mocking The Situation for this is easy, since his entire career is based on skeezy hot tub hookups and general sluttiness.  But while Stewart took this bait, he refused to take shots at teen-mother Bristol (who got pregnant out of wedlock, told the press that abstinence isn’t practical, and then became the biggest abstinence spokesperson since the freakin’ Pope).  I’m sorry, but this would definitely be news, even if Bristol wasn’t Palin’s daughter – and she definitely deserves to be slammed for her stupidity.

What would you do if you were sitting at a bar, minding your own business, when a koala bear saunters in and sits down next to you, promptly falling asleep?  I know – sounds unbelievable, right?  But it totally happened!  Okay, so maybe it didn’t sit down on a barstool, but it did climb up onto a rafter right above where bar patrons were sitting.  That’s my kind of koala.

You can follow Rachel’s spotted stories at Spotery.com/Rachel or on Twitter @RachelSpots.

The Social Network was a genius film – this much we know.  But can you imagine how it would be different had it been directed by someone else?  The people over at CollegeHumor have decided that this is a question that must be answered, so they reinvented The Social Network through the eyes of Wes Andersen, Quentin Tarantino, and other iconic directors.  The result?  Stereotyped hilarity.  This is definitely a must-see.

Nothing like looking at an unflattering picture of yourself to make you want to lose weight – amiright?  That’s exactly what happened to Bob Mewse, a 56-year-old obese man whose picture was captured by Google Street View cameras near his home in the UK.  When Mewse discovered the photo, he was appalled, and he used that feeling as motivation to seriously change his diet and exercise routines.  Today, Mewse has lost nearly a third of his original weight – he’s looking good and feeling good, too!  Good for you, Mr. Mewse!  Now if only he could get the Street View car back for a reshoot.

Have you heard?  AMC Theaters are slowly beginning to offer dine-in service!  New theaters are being constructed that give viewers more leg room, comfortable seating, and most importantly, the option of eating a full meal during the film.  Not only that, but the sample menus don’t look half bad – they’re at least up to par with the fare at an Applebee’s or TGIF.  As a huge proponent of both film and food, this is by far the best thing I’ve heard all day.  My question is, why the heck haven’t they come to NYC yet?

It should be no surprise for anyone that the situation in North Korea is dire.  After all, it’s a small country with limited resources that’s being run to the ground by its communist leaders – there’s really nothing positive that can come from a combination like that.  The U.N. has announced that for North Korea’s many children, pregnant women, and elderly to survive the winter, a great amount of food aid needs to be donated to the country’s stores.  Gee, wouldn’t it be great if Jung-il would cut the bullshit and do what’s good for his country?  Then maybe U.N. aid could be devoted to areas that are even worse off.  (Haiti, anyone?  Oy.)

Finally, check out this latest speculation about Michael Bloomberg’s future political ambitions.  Looking toward the presidency in 2012?  This sort of feels like when department stores put out Christmas decorations before Halloween has passed.  Give it time, people!  The candidates will present themselves when they’re ready – no need to jump the gun.

You can follow Rachel’s spotted stories at Spotery.com/Rachel or on Twitter @RachelSpots.

Harrison Ford was on Conan last night, and he was acting a little, er, loopy.  Wait, maybe loopy isn’t the right word.  Intoxicated?  Inebriated?  Blazed out of his mind?  The legendary actor (and pilot!) was out of it during the entire interview, creating awkward pauses, making creepy faces, and giving inappropriate surprisingly candid answers.  Plus, he spent the whole time caressing his chair.  I’m not really sure what Ford was on, but if it wasn’t illicit, it definitely requires a prescription.   Check out the full interview here.  You’re guaranteed to laugh.

Sorry, Charlie, but it looks like you’ve reached the end of the line.  Yesterday, a congressional panel brought its two-year-long investigation into Rep. Charlie Rangel’s alleged ethical violations to a close.  And how did they rule?  Guilty, natch!  The guy was accused of a total of thirteen charges, including tax evasion and improper use of government mail service – and he was found guilty of all but one.  Want to know the read kicker?  Rangel was up for reelection this year, and the people in his district voted him back in.  Really, guys?  You couldn’t have thought that one through?  As always, Jon Stewart has provided some beautiful color commentary on the story of Rangel’s downfall.  (Oh, Stewart – where would we be without you?)

Remember how I told you yesterday that Four Loko was officially banned in the state of New York?  Well it looks like the FDA is poised to ban it across the whole US of A.  Obviously, this is bad business for Phusion Projects, the company behind Four Loko – and so the corporate heads have decided to get creative.  Instead of letting their cultural phenomenon of an alcoholic beverage die, Phusion Projects has announced that Four Loko will still be manufactured, just without all that caffeine.  In other words, Four Loko will cease to be an alcoholic super jolt – it’ll still get you drunk, but now you’ll need to pound a Red Bull afterwards to keep your energy high.  With the caffeine gone, will the college crowd lose interest?  Uh, probably.  You had a good run, Four Loko – but it looks like it’s back to the drawing board.

Check this out: an ancient Roman settlement has been uncovered by a construction crew in west London.  The site was originally discovered in 2008, but it’s taken until now for researchers to decide what exactly they’d come upon.  According to reports, thousands of pieces of pottery as well as about a hundred coins and jewels were excavated from the site.  Pretty exciting, huh?  Talk about a treasure hunt – archeologists really do have all the fun.

For a daily dose of cute, check out this video of a turtle pretending to be a stool in order to confuse an on looking cat.  You’ll be happy you did.

You can follow Rachel’s spotted stories at Spotery.com/Rachel or on Twitter @RachelSpots.

It’s official, guys – Four Loko has been banned in New York.  Thanks to a fervent campaign headed by Sen. Charles Schumer, New York-area beer distributers and Four Loko manufacturers are being forced to stop ordering shipments of the highly caffeinated, alcoholic beverage starting on November 19^th (this Friday!).  Final deliveries have been slated for December 1^st.  Now, I’m not a big fan of Loko myself – I think it’s probably the unhealthiest thing you can put in your body besides a McDonald’s combo meal.  That said, I’m also not one to support blanket bans of products that people should have the insight not to ingest in the first place.  Maybe instead of banning the stuff, every can should come with a pamphlet illustrating the negative health effects that drinking it can have on the human body.  From there, just let natural selection do its job!  (Yeah, I totally went there.)

Bad news, Botwin fans!  Jenji Kohan, the creator of the Showtime series Weeds, has said that next season might be the show’s last.  After season 7 airs next year, the contracts for the actors – and for Kohan herself – are scheduled to expire.  While it would be easy to renew for another few years, Kohan has said she’d rather quit while she’s ahead.  Why let something so good go stale?  I totally respect this sentiment, but that doesn’t mean I won’t mourn the loss of the show.  But at least The Big C will be around to soften the blow.

Need proof that the human race is shallow as a puddle on a sidewalk?  A new website has popped up that pits girlfriend against boyfriend in a battle of good looks.  CanDoBetter.com allows curious users to upload photographs of themselves and their mates, which are then presented to the internet at large.  From there, viewers decide whether he can do better, she can do better, or the two are a perfect match.  I’m having a really hard time trying to think of something trashier than this.  If you’re worried that your significant other isn’t hot enough for you, I suggest you just break it off.  And try not to do so via texting, okay?  (Though I know that’s the medium most appropriate for your level of maturity.)

Looks like Lisa Murkowski might win the Alaska senate seat after all!  For those of you who haven’t been following this story, Murkowski is the Republican incumbent and a write-in candidate, having lost her state’s primary to teabagger Joe Miller.  The process of counting up write-in ballots has been arduous (and a little sketchy!), but so far, Murkowski is showing a decent lead on Miller.  And while lawsuits and recounts are sure to follow (this is Amerr’ca!), chances are that Murkowski will squeak past with a victory.  And you know what makes this even greater?  Lisa Murkowski totally hates Sarah Palin.  Zing!

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: nebulas are awesome.  Check out this photo gallery of our beautiful universe – and commence feeling insignificant.  You’re welcome!

You can follow Rachel’s spotted stories at Spotery.com/Rachel or on Twitter @RachelSpots.

Hey, remember when John McCain was a middle-of-the-road, sensible Republican?  That was a much better look for him, if you ask me.  McCain’s current position has him keeping one foot in the Tea Party (and one foot in the grave!), and that reeks of political desperation that’s not becoming for anyone.  The latest proof of this?  McCain’s stance on DADT.  Less than five years ago, McCain told the press that he’d be willing to consider a repeal of DADT if it was supported by military leaders.  And now that it is?  Uh, hold on a sec – let’s do a bunch of surveys first, just to make sure.  Oh, and let’s make the process take a few years!  That way by the time it’s finished, there might be a Republican president in power who can scrap the whole thing.  Boy oh boy.  For Jon Stewart’s take on the whole mess, click here.  Laugh to keep from crying in frustration.

Sources have said that Snooki’s upcoming birthday bash is going to be sponsored by Lifestyle condoms, and really, I can’t think of anything more appropriate.  I think by agreeing to fund this gig, Lifestyle might actually have a chance at reducing the country’s gonorrhea rate by up to 78%!  Plus, giving Snooki’s birthday partner(s) the chance to wrap it up can at least ensure that the world remains free of little Snooki clones for another nine months.  (Or at least until next Halloween.)

Alright, let me preface this next story by saying I generally really love Gawker.  In case you hadn’t noticed, a whole lot of the stories that end up on this blog were first discovered on Gawker’s home page.  Every once in a while, though, I think they let hyperbole get the best of them.  Today, for instance, they promoted a story titled “Turns Out Smoking Weed is Bad for You”.  The article goes on to explain how a recent study has proved that frequent pot smoking impairs brain function.  To which I responded, duh!  I don’t think there’s a (sane) person out there that thinks pot smoking is completely devoid of negative consequences.  The point is that it’s no worse for your body than other things that are legal, like alcohol, and that smoking weed in moderation is probably okay.  So, can we stop pretending that this study is a huge advancement in modern health science?  Because come on – it’s really, really not. 

Ohmygod guess what!  Apple has announced that it will FINALLY be able to sell Beatle’s music through the iTunes store.  That’s right, ladies and gentlemen – John, Paul, George, and Ringo are coming to the internet, at long last.  I wonder how much dough Apple’s had to shell out for this one…

Do you want to watch a video of a bull launching itself into a crowd of audience members at a Mexico bullfight?  Because if so, you should probably click here.

You can follow Rachel’s spotted stories at Spotery.com/Rachel or on Twitter @RachelSpots.

This time of year (read: the stretch between midterms and finals) always finds me itching for adventure.  If you share this sentiment, you’ll be as excited as I was about this one.  Contrary to popular belief, treasure hunting is so not dead!  In fact, there are more than a few old-timey treasures still waiting to be found.  Want to try your hand at uncovering these elusive caches?  Break out your metal detector and a wide-brimmed hat, and get going to some of these legendary locales.  If nothing else, you’ll have a blast!

Want to hear a story about Alaska politics that’s totally not sketchy?  Yeah – me, too.  But it appears this is a bit too much to ask.  According to officials, one woman is in charge of counting up all the ballots in the Alaska senatorial race.  In other words, the country’s got to take the word of a single woman that her counting skills (not to mention honesty) are 100% legit.  Come on, Alaska – really?  You couldn’t have one more person counting along for the sake of quality control?  Why’d we waste our time buying up that frozen hunk of land, anyway?  (Oh, right – oil.)

In unbelievable news, singer James Blunt claims he singlehandedly prevented World War III.  Uh, what?  Blunt was allegedly ordered by US forces to “destroy” 200 Russian troops during the Kosovo war, during which he served as a cavalry officer.  Fearing a large-scale response, however, the singer politely declined.  Lucky for him, this refusal was backed by the UK general in charge – otherwise, Blunt would have faced pretty severe punishment.  But would carrying out those orders really have started the third world war?  Anything’s possible.

If you’re in college or were in the past, you’ve probably met a handful of girls who would readily chose a bump of cocaine over dinner.  You know the type – too-dark eyeliner smudged, extra small t-shirt hanging off her bony frame.  Though they don’t necessarily share these physical traits, it turns out lab rats might mirror these girls’ behavior.  In a recent study, scientists found that female rats introduced to cocaine would begin to choose the drug over food.  Male rats, on the other hand, stuck with the grub.  So, what’s the big deal?  This might be a clue to how addiction affects men and women differently.  Cool, huh?  (And, as a woman, kind of depressing…)

Finally, are you sick of Congress screwing up the federal budget?  Think you could do a better job?  The New York Times has created a nifty little tool to let you fool around with the budget and try to fix it on your own.  Give it a try!  (And maybe forward the results to your reps.  They obviously need the advice.)

You can follow Rachel’s spotted stories at Spotery.com/Rachel or on Twitter @RachelSpots.